“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.” Psalm 121:2
September 1, 2010. Wow! What a truly momentous day. This was a pivotal day that I have been working toward for over 3 years. But really much longer than 3 years. The dream for this accomplishment has been in my heart for about 25 years. An action plan toward this goal began 12 years ago when I went back to school for my BSN degree. I applied and was accepted into a program to become a Nurse Practitioner over 3 years ago. Now it seems funny to think how just getting accepted into the program was such a huge deal that it felt like success in itself.
I happily completed the program in May. While it seemed like it was over, it really wasn’t over! A certification exam is required before you can obtain a license from the State Board. Without that, the degree is useless. And so I have spent the better part of the Summer studying more intently than I ever did while in school. The thought that I could be tested on absolutely anything from volumes and volumes of material was sobering to say the very least. Terrifying, to tell the truth.
I had prepared all I could possibly prepare. I woke up very early in the morning and prepared some more. I showered and dressed and had some breakfast. I tried to review some more and started to feel like if I looked at anything else it was just going to make it worse. What I was not prepared for was the spiritual element of this morning.
I’ve had times where I questioned whether God lead me to pursue this degree. Sometimes I wondered if He just wanted to bless me with a desire of my heart. After all, do I need a degree to share Christ? I think not. Do you need a license to impact someone’s life with the love of God? Absolutely not!
The spiritual attack I felt this morning, if nothing else, confirmed to me that God has a plan in my becoming a Nurse Practitioner. The enemy of my soul, the devil taunted me with thoughts of defeat and failure and shame and humiliation. I was (almost) convinced that I’d be better of not taking the exam. I was reminded of every one of my MANY failures in life. Until this point I had anxiety about the exam, but for the most part a healthy sort of stress which just kept me focused on the task. This morning was altogether different. I was on the front lines of an attack. The thief had come to steal, kill and destroy… BUT GOD came that I may have life and have it to the full (John 10:10).
Without looking for His help at the moment, the Spirit of God began to quicken The Word in me. I literally felt it rise out of the depths of my being. My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. In my weakness His strength is made perfect. He is an ever-present help in a time of trouble. My God will never leave me or forsake Me. With God ALL things are possible. Be anxious for nothing… the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I had prayed for God’s help during the exam and for focus as I studied. Many other people were praying for me too! (Thank you!) I hadn’t recognized the spiritual opposition in reaching this goal. Hindsight being what it is, it makes sense now. For me this was a God sized dream. This wasn’t just a good idea. It was part of God’s will for my life. It will open doors which never would have opened before. I will have new spheres of influence and opportunity. To God be the glory.
The testimony here is that without asking for it, God began to fight for me! His truth rose from the depths of the spirit within me and began to refute the lies of the enemy! He exposed what the devil was doing and allowed me to see it so that I could also fight. God’s truth won out!
I had a couple of hours left before I needed to leave for the exam. I couldn’t make myself study anymore! I lay on my bed and began to pray. I gave all of my anxious thoughts to the Lord. I felt His peace flood my soul. I surrendered the outcome of the exam, and the future of my life to the Lord. As I got up from the bed, I said ‘I want to go take the exam right now’. I just wanted it over. I couldn’t do anything else to prepare. Right then, the phone rang and it was the testing center. They said they had a free computer and I could come in anytime to take the exam. I told them I was on the way! Isn’t God good?!
As I was driving out of my neighborhood, I had the Joy FM on. Casting Crown’s song “The voice of Truth” was playing. It could not have been more appropriate. I felt like I had lived this song this morning. It really ministered to me. I knew God was with me. I worshipped the Lord all the way to the testing center. Does God care enough to have the right song played at the right moment which will minister to us? I think so.
I encourage you to take a minute and listen to the song… #30 on my playlist. Some of the words which met me where I was at… “The voice of truth tells me a different story. The voice of truth says do not be afraid. The voice of truth says this is for My glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.” Thank you, Casting Crowns and Joy fm.
So, I took the exam. God indeed was with me. I passed! I will receive my license within a few weeks and embark on a new chapter in my life. God is so faithful! Passing almost seems a side note compared to how wonderfully God ministered to me this morning! His grace still amazes me!!
So, I want to end this by asking you if you have a God sized dream lurking in your soul? Why not run it by the Lord again? Sometimes there’s a season for something to happen; and if it doesn’t we can miss out. But, I know if that has happened God has something else for you. He wants us to be a people filled with His purpose. He has unique dreams for you. Why not step out of the boat and keep your eyes on Jesus? Oh, and don’t be surprised if you encounter opposition along the way. Just remember, your help comes from the Lord!